For more than 20 years this film has resided in me. The long days of isolation during COVID, aligned with two very important loses in my life-I felt a deep sense of grief, that stuck with me in the isolation. I lived on my own, so spent most of the days in my own thoughts. Watching on tv, everyday, the people in ICU, relatives looking on behind walls of PVC and plastic, unable to touch their loved ones. These all had an effect on me. Somehow, this story came into fruition. The first draft is almost the same as the final shooting script with only two scene changes.

The most important thing for me is to leave the audience feeling a deep sense of grief and love. When we lose someone we love, we go through the whole range of emotions before we find peace, where we can celebrate the person we have lost-when the thought of that person brings a smile on our faces, a sense of love touched by loss. It’s a good place. In many ways, ‘All of Us Strangers’, directed by Andrew Haigh captures that feeling by the end. ‘Tissues’ attempts to do in 18 minutes what that feature successfully achieves in two hours.

Without the help of Kate Plantin, the Casting Director, we would not have found the actors. She was able to put a callout to various agents, look on Spotlight and then recommend some to me. From the various casting tapes, both Hiral and Richard stood out. The head Nurse role, played by Amanda Ryan, came from a recommendation of my partner. The young couple that Shireen meets outside, came from Spotlight.

The film sat in my head for over 20 years. Then during the second lockdown, October 2020-I had been through an emotionally turbulent period. From that, everything came out and I wrote my first draft. I was very surprised, I had never written a script before. Then I contacted my friend Shafeeq Vellani, who then acted as my script editor. Over the next year I began a process of writing and rewriting. It was at that point that Ajay came on board.

Once I was happy with the script, I started to get my close friends to read it out to me. I found that anyone involved in scriptwriting or script editors were the least helpful or useful. I was very downcast after the reaction of these people that I stopped for six months, I assumed it to be a crap script and story. My partner encouraged me not to give up, so I entered the script into various short film script competitions, noticing that it would get shortlisted. This gave me the encouragement to continue.

Then a tragedy hit. My best friend Shafeeq Vellani suddenly passed away. I later learnt that he had left me some money his will. With that cash injection and monies from Ajay and myself, we could shoot the film in November.

No, the characters are very different. None of the dialogue nor any of the scenes between them happened to me. The only similarity is the location (NICU) and the bedroom. I did bring a cake in after 2 months, but both Tanja (my son’s mother) and I wanted to do this. I did have a conversation with a nurse about my son swelling up like a balloon and having those wounds. And of course, I did meet the ‘love couple’ outside the hospital. Everything else is formulated to make a story.

My biggest inspiration were the films by Wong Kar Wai and Park Chan Wook. Films like ‘In The Mood For Love’ and ‘Decision to Leave’. I paid close attention to the way that they framed their characters, the lighting and use of colour. Added to that, I looked at a lot of paintings. Particularly Northern European portraiture from late 19th century, artists like Hammershoi, Freidriech, Millet and Munch. Working with Damian, we identified how space was used to express internal emotions.

This format gave us the ability to play with the space between the characters. The film starts with Simon and Shireen at ends of frames, never touching within it. Constantly separated by lines, from the objects we place between them. By the end they are closer together in the frame, almost touching at times.

I worked closely with the Sound Designer, Paul Donovan. He used sound to create different moods and tones. Early on, the sounds of the NICU appear invasive and surround you. As the film progresses, these then become much warmer. The bleeps and tones of the heart monitors are almost symphonic.

The main track is ‘Mohabbat’ by Arrow Aftab. She is an Grammy winning artist, living in New York. We were able to get clearances for use at Festivals World Wide. I played her album whilst writing the script. It’s deep melancholic sound and poignant voice adds depth to the film. Arooj is one of the leading contemporary Jazz/Indian artists.